Last in the series of Jesus takes away – looking at some of the messes Jesus cleans up in our lives. Today’s is a biggie – unforgiveness

Unforgiveness is choosing to stay trapped in a jail cell of bitterness, serving time for someone else's crime

Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die.

Cortney Sargent: Unforgiveness is not a loner. It brings its friends along for the ride. If you allow unforgiveness to settle, dwell, and remain
in your heart, you will experience strife, hatred, anger, bitterness, jealousy, and resentment—all of which hardens your heart toward God.

Joyce Meyer: Many people ruin their health and their lives by taking the poison of bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness. Matthew 18:23-35 tells us that if we do not forgive people, we get turned over to the torturers. If you have a problem in this area or have ever had one, I'm sure you bear witness with what I'm saying. It's torture to have hateful thoughts toward another person rolling around inside your head.

Three things define unforgiveness
Revenge – I’m going to get even
Resentment – I’m going to stay angry
Remembering – I’ll never forget

Hebrews 12:14-15 warns, “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root rises up to cause trouble and defile many.” Similarly, 2 Corinthians 2:5-11 warns that unforgiveness can be an opening for Satan to derail us.

So unforgiveness makes us bitter, defiles us, opens us up to Satan derailing us, acts like a poison and is a jail cell, doing time for someone else’s crime.

When you have been hurt by someone else, we naturally want revenge, to get even, we are resentful and it’s hard to forget

Eph 4:32 simply says “Be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.”
The truth is that people choose to be unforgiving—it is a deliberate decision and a self-inflicted pain. We carry the illusion that other people have caused our misery, but in reality, we have elected to take on a form of self-imposed bondage. It is a spiritual “acid” that eats through the spirit within us. Few people realize the terrible effects of unforgiveness.

Unforgiveness is a chronic anxiety…According to Dr. Steven Standiford, chief of surgery at the Cancer Treatment Centers of America, refusing to forgive makes people sick and keeps them that way.

With that in mind, forgiveness therapy is now being used to help treat diseases, such as cancer.

“It’s important to treat emotional wounds or disorders because they really can hinder someone’s reactions to the treatments, even someone’s willingness to pursue treatment,” Standiford explained. Of all cancer patients, 61 percent have forgiveness issues, and of those, more than half are severe, according to research by Dr. Michael Barry, a pastor and the author of the book, The Forgiveness Project.

“Harboring these negative emotions, this anger and hatred, creates a state of chronic anxiety,” he said.

“Chronic anxiety very predictably produces excess adrenaline and cortisol, which deplete the production of natural killer cells, which is your body’s foot soldier in the fight against cancer,” he explained.

Is that enough reasons why we need to forgive others?

To forgive, we need to realise how much we have been forgiven – Matt 18:23-35
Jesus told a story to illustrate his answer to Peter’s question – how much should we forgive others. The Rabbis of the time taught three times, Peter thought maybe 7 times was enough. Jesus said 70 times 7 – basically always forgive. He then told a parable to illustrate the point.
The servant owed 10,000 talents – a talent was 20 years wages for a labourer. The average builder earns £23k in the UK – so a talent is just under half a million pounds. 10,000 talents is thus around about £5billion pounds. So the story is about a CEO of a bank! An impossible debt to pay off. So the King lets him off. The point is that God’s grace is infinite – we have been forgiven so much.
The servant then sees someone who owes him 100 denarii – a hundred days wages and starts to choke him for the debt, throwing him in prison.
Of course he gets found out and the wicked servant himself gets thrown into jail – literally to the tormentors. Unforgiveness is torment.

The grace of God is immense. When Jesus died on the cross for your sin – it was for every thing – every thought, every action, every word that falls short of the glory of God – all paid off in full, forgiven. When we grasp that, forgiving others become a whole lot more easy.
As C.S. Lewis put it To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.

Decide
Forgiving is a choice – you will never do it if you wait until it feels right. We have to choose to obey God and not allow the devil free reign in our thoughts.
Forgiving means
Giving up resentment about the wrong done to you
Giving up resentment towards the wrongdoer
Giving up plans for retaliation.
So many times as I’m with people wrestling with us, I tell them to speak out “Lord I forgive so and so for x.” And then they say “Lord help me to forgive so and so for x”. Those are different things! What it means is that they haven’t chosen to forgive. First comes the choice and then the dependency on the Spirit to keep them forgiven.

Depend
You cannot forgive without the power of the Holy Spirit. It’s too hard to do on your own. If you are truly willing, God will enable you, but you must humble yourself and cry out to Him for help. In John 20:22-23 Jesus breathed on the disciples and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit!” His next instruction was about forgiving people. Ask God to breathe the Holy Spirit on you so you can forgive those who’ve hurt you.

Obey
There are a couple of things the Bible tells us to do in forgivings
1) Pray for them. Pray for your enemies and those who abuse and misuse you. Pray for their happiness and welfare (see Luke 6:27-28)
I was bullied at uni mercilessly, and wanted revenge. But when I forgave him and started praying for God to bless him. My anxiety over it went and he actually stopped because it was no longer affecting me.
2) Bless and do not curse them (Romans 12:14). In the Greek to bless means “to speak well of” and to curse means “to speak evil of.” You can’t walk in forgiveness and be a gossip. You must stop repeating the offense. You can’t get over it if you continue to talk about it. Proverbs 17:9 says that he who covers an offense seeks love.

Who?
Forgive the one who hurt you badly years ago and the guy that stepped on your toe in Tesco yesterday and everyone in between! Forgive quickly – the quicker you forgive the easier it is.

Application
Be forgiven
Four types of people here today
Spectator- watching, keep watching. Sometimes people realise they aren’t just watching they are actively seeking.
Seeker – serious asker of questions. Great keep asking. Sometimes people realise their questions have been answered and they are following Jesus.
Follower – I’m ready to follow Jesus. Sometimes people realise they want to making a difference with Jesus and become a builder
Builders – I want to build the kingdom

Jesus died on the cross for us so that we could be forgiven. Receive that this morning if you never had before.

Choose to forgive – do it now!
If you know that you are holding onto unforgiveness, then choose to forgive today.
If you know that bitterness has taken hold – then we will happily pray for you to be set free, but you need to choose to forgive those who have hurt you for it to go.

Listen…

Covenant Seriously

Covenant... Seriously | Sunday Sermon In this powerful message, we dive into 1 Samuel 18:1–11 to explore the story of David, Jonathan, and Saul — and what it reveals about the nature of true covenant relationships. We unpack what happens when gossip, exaggeration, and unchecked offense are allowed to take root in a community, and how Saul's downfall offers a sobering warning for us today. From there, we explore what it truly means to be a "covenant person" — both in our relationship with God and with the body of Christ. ? In this message: The danger of gossip and how to respond when it comes your way What a covenant truly is — and why it changes everything Two covenants every believer carries: with God, and with each other A true story of restoration after failure and rejection The three pillars every covenant needs: faithfulness, commitment, sacrifice Five gifts covenant brings: intimacy, safety, forgiveness, unconditional love, and hope Why we must never give up on people — even when it's hard Whatever covenant you're walking in — with God, your spouse, or your church family — this message is a call to take it seriously, and to walk in it with grace, boldness, and humility. ? Subscribe for weekly messages and join us in person or online every Sunday. #Covenant #Sermon #ChristianFaith #1Samuel #BibleTeaching #ChurchCommunity #Forgiveness #Faithfulness

Speaker:	Omadachi Oganyi
Series:	Hall of Mirrors
Date:	14th Jun, 2026
Download:	Covenant Seriously
Plays:	1
Views:	9
Sermon notes:	PDF Covenant Seriously Sermon Notes: "Covenant... Seriously" Text: 1 Samuel 18:1–11 Opening Context Sermon based on a book the congregation is reading together, addressing timely issues that "aren't going away soon" — trust God to turn the tide. Title: "Covenant... Seriously" The Story (1 Samuel 18:1–11) After David defeats Goliath (one Philistine), Jonathan's soul is bound to David's in love; they make a covenant. Jonathan gives David his robe, armor, sword, bow, and belt. David succeeds in everything Saul sends him to do, and is promoted in the army. Women come out singing, crediting David with "ten thousands" and Saul with only "thousands" — an exaggeration (David had only slain one Philistine). Saul is angry and offended; from that day he watches David with suspicion. An evil spirit comes on Saul; he prophesies while David plays the harp, then twice hurls a spear at David. Key Application 1: Gossip and Exaggeration Saul's downfall began with entertaining exaggeration, gossip, and unverified "tales" — this opened him to a wrong spirit. As Christians, we must not be a "dumping ground" for gossip and bad talk about others. Two questions to ask anyone bringing gossip: "Have you discussed this with the person you're talking about?" "Are you happy for me to discuss what you've told me with them?" Pray for strength to turn gossip away. What Is a Covenant? Definition: A binding agreement between parties based on solemn promises. Illustrated by marriage vows — "till death do us part" changes everything; it's renewed daily. Psalm 50:5 — "Gather together to me, my saints... those who have made a covenant with me by sacrifice." Two Covenants Every Christian Has With God — Every child of God is in covenant with Him (a "covenant person," an heir of salvation, viewed differently by Heaven — referencing 2 Corinthians 5:17). With the Body of Christ — We are our "brother's keeper," called to bear one another's burdens (Galatians 6:2), rejoice and mourn together, regardless of race or denomination (Galatians 3:28). Illustration: The Restored Young Woman A young Christian leader fell into sin, was abandoned by her church, and left the faith. The speaker and a friend prayed, fasted, and visited her — she said no one had checked on her like that before. She was restored to Christ. Lesson: look out for one another; don't gossip about a struggling brother/sister — pray for and strengthen them. Foundations and Requirements of Covenant Foundation: Love — John 3:16 — everything Jesus did was founded on love. Three requirements to sustain a covenant: Faithfulness Commitment Sacrifice Benefits of Covenant Intimacy — true vulnerability without fear of shame or judgment; sexual intimacy belongs only within the marriage covenant — outside it, it is destructive. Safety — freedom to grow and make mistakes without constant self-defense; if you feel you must always defend yourself in a relationship, that conversation needs to happen. Mutual Forgiveness — "A righteous man falls seven times and rises again" — covenant creates room to restore the fallen, not trample them. Unconditional commitment — not "terms-and-conditions" dependent. Romans 5:8 — Christ died for us while we were still sinners. Forgiveness shouldn't depend on receiving an apology — we forgive because of who we are in Christ. Caution: don't bind yourself in covenant relationships with people who will exploit your forgiveness. Hope — Jonathan believed in David's future. We must not blacklist or write people off permanently — with God, "the worst of us can become the best" (example: Barnabas and Paul/Saul). Closing Reflection Questions How have you lived out your covenant — with your spouse, with God, with the body of Christ? Have you set it aside with bitterness? Is there someone in the faith community you've "cancelled" or written off due to hurt?

   

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Decide, depend and obey section based on Joyce Meyer Poison of Unforgiveness article