Jesus takes away unforgiveness
Last in the series of Jesus takes away – looking at some of the messes Jesus cleans up in our lives. Today’s is a biggie – unforgiveness
Unforgiveness is choosing to stay trapped in a jail cell of bitterness, serving time for someone else's crime
Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die.
Cortney Sargent: Unforgiveness is not a loner. It brings its friends along for the ride. If you allow unforgiveness to settle, dwell, and remain
in your heart, you will experience strife, hatred, anger, bitterness, jealousy, and resentment—all of which hardens your heart toward God.
Joyce Meyer: Many people ruin their health and their lives by taking the poison of bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness. Matthew 18:23-35 tells us that if we do not forgive people, we get turned over to the torturers. If you have a problem in this area or have ever had one, I'm sure you bear witness with what I'm saying. It's torture to have hateful thoughts toward another person rolling around inside your head.
Three things define unforgiveness
Revenge – I’m going to get even
Resentment – I’m going to stay angry
Remembering – I’ll never forget
Hebrews 12:14-15 warns, “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root rises up to cause trouble and defile many.” Similarly, 2 Corinthians 2:5-11 warns that unforgiveness can be an opening for Satan to derail us.
So unforgiveness makes us bitter, defiles us, opens us up to Satan derailing us, acts like a poison and is a jail cell, doing time for someone else’s crime.
When you have been hurt by someone else, we naturally want revenge, to get even, we are resentful and it’s hard to forget
Eph 4:32 simply says “Be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.”
The truth is that people choose to be unforgiving—it is a deliberate decision and a self-inflicted pain. We carry the illusion that other people have caused our misery, but in reality, we have elected to take on a form of self-imposed bondage. It is a spiritual “acid” that eats through the spirit within us. Few people realize the terrible effects of unforgiveness.
Unforgiveness is a chronic anxiety…According to Dr. Steven Standiford, chief of surgery at the Cancer Treatment Centers of America, refusing to forgive makes people sick and keeps them that way.
With that in mind, forgiveness therapy is now being used to help treat diseases, such as cancer.
“It’s important to treat emotional wounds or disorders because they really can hinder someone’s reactions to the treatments, even someone’s willingness to pursue treatment,” Standiford explained. Of all cancer patients, 61 percent have forgiveness issues, and of those, more than half are severe, according to research by Dr. Michael Barry, a pastor and the author of the book, The Forgiveness Project.
“Harboring these negative emotions, this anger and hatred, creates a state of chronic anxiety,” he said.
“Chronic anxiety very predictably produces excess adrenaline and cortisol, which deplete the production of natural killer cells, which is your body’s foot soldier in the fight against cancer,” he explained.
Is that enough reasons why we need to forgive others?
To forgive, we need to realise how much we have been forgiven – Matt 18:23-35
Jesus told a story to illustrate his answer to Peter’s question – how much should we forgive others. The Rabbis of the time taught three times, Peter thought maybe 7 times was enough. Jesus said 70 times 7 – basically always forgive. He then told a parable to illustrate the point.
The servant owed 10,000 talents – a talent was 20 years wages for a labourer. The average builder earns £23k in the UK – so a talent is just under half a million pounds. 10,000 talents is thus around about £5billion pounds. So the story is about a CEO of a bank! An impossible debt to pay off. So the King lets him off. The point is that God’s grace is infinite – we have been forgiven so much.
The servant then sees someone who owes him 100 denarii – a hundred days wages and starts to choke him for the debt, throwing him in prison.
Of course he gets found out and the wicked servant himself gets thrown into jail – literally to the tormentors. Unforgiveness is torment.
The grace of God is immense. When Jesus died on the cross for your sin – it was for every thing – every thought, every action, every word that falls short of the glory of God – all paid off in full, forgiven. When we grasp that, forgiving others become a whole lot more easy.
As C.S. Lewis put it To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.
Decide
Forgiving is a choice – you will never do it if you wait until it feels right. We have to choose to obey God and not allow the devil free reign in our thoughts.
Forgiving means
Giving up resentment about the wrong done to you
Giving up resentment towards the wrongdoer
Giving up plans for retaliation.
So many times as I’m with people wrestling with us, I tell them to speak out “Lord I forgive so and so for x.” And then they say “Lord help me to forgive so and so for x”. Those are different things! What it means is that they haven’t chosen to forgive. First comes the choice and then the dependency on the Spirit to keep them forgiven.
Depend
You cannot forgive without the power of the Holy Spirit. It’s too hard to do on your own. If you are truly willing, God will enable you, but you must humble yourself and cry out to Him for help. In John 20:22-23 Jesus breathed on the disciples and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit!” His next instruction was about forgiving people. Ask God to breathe the Holy Spirit on you so you can forgive those who’ve hurt you.
Obey
There are a couple of things the Bible tells us to do in forgivings
1) Pray for them. Pray for your enemies and those who abuse and misuse you. Pray for their happiness and welfare (see Luke 6:27-28)
I was bullied at uni mercilessly, and wanted revenge. But when I forgave him and started praying for God to bless him. My anxiety over it went and he actually stopped because it was no longer affecting me.
2) Bless and do not curse them (Romans 12:14). In the Greek to bless means “to speak well of” and to curse means “to speak evil of.” You can’t walk in forgiveness and be a gossip. You must stop repeating the offense. You can’t get over it if you continue to talk about it. Proverbs 17:9 says that he who covers an offense seeks love.
Who?
Forgive the one who hurt you badly years ago and the guy that stepped on your toe in Tesco yesterday and everyone in between! Forgive quickly – the quicker you forgive the easier it is.
Application
Be forgiven
Four types of people here today
Spectator- watching, keep watching. Sometimes people realise they aren’t just watching they are actively seeking.
Seeker – serious asker of questions. Great keep asking. Sometimes people realise their questions have been answered and they are following Jesus.
Follower – I’m ready to follow Jesus. Sometimes people realise they want to making a difference with Jesus and become a builder
Builders – I want to build the kingdom
Jesus died on the cross for us so that we could be forgiven. Receive that this morning if you never had before.
Choose to forgive – do it now!
If you know that you are holding onto unforgiveness, then choose to forgive today.
If you know that bitterness has taken hold – then we will happily pray for you to be set free, but you need to choose to forgive those who have hurt you for it to go.
Listen…
Pendulum Swing or Two Sided Coin?
| Speaker: | Andy Moyle, |
| Series: | God's Multicoloured Wisdom |
| Date: | 11th Oct, 2026 |
| Download: | Pendulum Swing or Two Sided Coin? |
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| Sermon notes: | Pendulum Swing or Two Sided Coin?Pendulum Swing We have been looking at God’s multicoloured wisdom - where God shows off his amazing diverse multicoloured wisdom to the angels and demons through what he is doing through the church. Your life has meaning and purpose – you are part of a cosmic plan that God has! Started with creation – in all its diversity created by God who personifies diversity in unity – Father, Son and Spirit Then we looked at the Fall – where Adam and Eve disobeyed God and experienced shame, guilt and fear. God made a sacrifice to clothe them with the first leather outfits! Then we began to see God’s rescue plan for the whole of humanity start through God call one person – Abraham to be blessed so that through his offspring every family would get the chance to be blessed. God often chooses one to be bless many. He has chosen you too! Now we jump forward hundreds of years – the Old Testament people of God, Israel are being formed. They have escaped slavery in Egypt and they are about to receive the ten commandments – and the rest of the Law. But before that God tells them these amazing words. Exodus 19:5 Now if you obey me fully and keep my covenant, then out of all nations you will be my treasured possession. Although the whole earth is mine, you will be for me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.’ These are the words you are to speak to the Israelites.” Condition – Obey God fully and keep my covenant.They are about to get the law – not just 10 commandments. Jewish scholars counted 613 separate commands. They are there to show how holy God is and how much we need Jesus to save us. King Solomon tells us in Eccl 7:20 Indeed, there is no one on earth who is righteous, no one who does what is right and never sins. Paul will teach the purpose of the law was to bring us to Christ – Gal 3:24 So the law was our guardian until Christ came that we might be justified by faith They had been saved by grace from slavery but still the Old Covenant was conditional on obedience first. Ex 19:5 again IF you obey me… then out all the nations you will be my treasured possession. Treasured PossessionIf your house was to catch fire and everyone was safe and you could grab one thing, what would it be? That’s your treasured possession. The Hebrew word is sagula which means shut up treasure – the kind of treasure that is highly prized and kept safe. That’s who the people of God are to the Lord. Then from that identity as God’s treasured possession, they are called to be a Kingdom of Priests Kingdom of PriestsA priest is someone who mediates people to the Lord. Their job as a blessed people was to show that blessing to all the families of the earth – to carry on Abraham’s call. Mal 2:7 says for the lips of a priest ought to preserve knowledge, because he is the messenger of the Lord almighty and the people seek instruction from his mouth. Holy NationGod is Holy and commands his people to be holy. The command “Be holy, for I am holy” is all over the Bible! Lev 11:45 I am the Lord, who brought you up out of Egypt to be your God; therefore be holy, because I am holy. Two sides of a coin – the edge says treasured possession. That is their identity. One side is be a kingdom of priests. Make a difference in the nations, influence them and bless them so that they follow god. The other side is Holy nation – be holy. Don’t compromise with sin. They were meant to hold it in tension – be in the world but not of it. But OT Israel and actually anyone without Jesus just cannot do it. It ends up being a pendulum swing of making a mess Instead of kingdom of priests – influencing the nations. End up with anything goes, doing the awful things the unbelievers were doing. Then they’d swing the other way again missing the point. Holy nation – despising the other nations and being completely nationalistic. Or separating themselves. Even today – you can see religion in general and “religious” people making a mess of the pendulum swing. In the world and doing what they do – anything goes, chaotic lifestyles, liberalism – making Christianity wishy washy but palatable. Swinging the other way – Christian ghetto, avoiding the world, holy huddle, leagalism. Paul warns against that in 1 Cor 5:10 “I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.” That’s a great example of two sided coin – be in the world, but don’t be like the world. The call to live out being a treasured possession by being a Kingdom of priests and a holy nation is impossible in our own strength. The law was mean to point us to Jesus. Christianity has a new covenant, a new deal – a better deal. 1 Peter 2 lays out the ideas of what treasure possession, kingdom of priests and a holy nation look like with Jesus But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but not you have received mercy. If you have become a Christian, Peter declares like Jesus you are born again – a new creation and we have been give a precious identity – chosen people, royal priesthood, holy nation, God’s special possession. God has done it- he has made us the people of God and has given us with mercy. Our destiny is not the pendulum swing of messing it up – we can live as the double sided coin – treasured possession round the edge – kingdom of priests and holy nation as the two sides, We can do it. You may be thinking, no I can’t I swing from one extreme to the other! What’s the secret sauce? A few verses before Peter shows us As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by humans but chosen by God and precious to him— 5 you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house[a] to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. Living StonesPeter is writing to people who were mostly Jewish background before fining Christ, so they would have had Old Testament understanding of what that means. Centuries before Jesus came Ezekiel was prophecying to a wayward pendulum swinging Israel and he says this “I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.” God showed Ezekiel that without Jesus people are stony – cold and hard and unable to follow and obey Jesus. The promise he prophecied is that God would remove peoples dead stony hearts and give them a new heart. In Ezek 36 he repeats it – “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” Peter picks up the imagery of that and shows that Christians are now living stones – we have the Spirit in us, making us so alive. Spiritual houseThen he talks about us being built together into a “spiritual house” to be a holy priesthood. A spiritual house is literally a house of the spirit. Together we are the house where the Spirit of God dwells. We need each other – you can’t go it alone in Christian faith – the devil will pick you off straight away. The secret sauce that makes the two-sided coin doable – is the power of the Spirit available to all of us and the church being the place where we are built together. New Covenant is incredible. The law of 613 commandments is impossible, nobody apart from Jesus has completely obeyed. So, Jesus came to bring us close to God Eph 2:14-15 “For he himself is our peace who has made the two groups on and has destroyed the barrier the dividing wall of hostility, by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations” The Law was just a schoolmaster or guardian to shows us we need Christ. Now grace has fully come and we find that we can be more holy than the law demanded by enjoying God’s grace and walking in the power of the Spirit. The law said don’t commit adultery – grace says don’t even think adulterous thoughts. Titus 2:13 tells us “grace teaches us to say no to unrighteousness” It is walking in the Spirit that enables us to be holy and make a difference. Gal 5:16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. It is the Spirit that gives us power to be witnesses Act 1:8 It is the Spirit who grows the fruit of holiness in us Gal 5:22 It is our experience of being living stones – filled with the Spirit and built together as God’s church that means we finally get to enjoy living our new identity But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. If your life feels like a chaotic pendulum swing – God wants to turn you into a two-sided coin! Come to Jesus Be filled with the Spirit Be built together |
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Decide, depend and obey section based on Joyce Meyer Poison of Unforgiveness article
