Jesus takes away unforgiveness

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Last in the series of Jesus takes away – looking at some of the messes Jesus cleans up in our lives. Today’s is a biggie – unforgiveness

Unforgiveness is choosing to stay trapped in a jail cell of bitterness, serving time for someone else's crime

Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die.

Cortney Sargent: Unforgiveness is not a loner. It brings its friends along for the ride. If you allow unforgiveness to settle, dwell, and remain
in your heart, you will experience strife, hatred, anger, bitterness, jealousy, and resentment—all of which hardens your heart toward God.

Joyce Meyer: Many people ruin their health and their lives by taking the poison of bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness. Matthew 18:23-35 tells us that if we do not forgive people, we get turned over to the torturers. If you have a problem in this area or have ever had one, I'm sure you bear witness with what I'm saying. It's torture to have hateful thoughts toward another person rolling around inside your head.

Three things define unforgiveness

Revenge – I’m going to get even
Resentment – I’m going to stay angry
Remembering – I’ll never forget

Hebrews 12:14-15 warns, “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root rises up to cause trouble and defile many.” Similarly, 2 Corinthians 2:5-11 warns that unforgiveness can be an opening for Satan to derail us.

So unforgiveness makes us bitter, defiles us, opens us up to Satan derailing us, acts like a poison and is a jail cell, doing time for someone else’s crime.

When you have been hurt by someone else, we naturally want revenge, to get even, we are resentful and it’s hard to forget

Eph 4:32 simply says “Be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.”
The truth is that people choose to be unforgiving—it is a deliberate decision and a self-inflicted pain. We carry the illusion that other people have caused our misery, but in reality, we have elected to take on a form of self-imposed bondage. It is a spiritual “acid” that eats through the spirit within us. Few people realize the terrible effects of unforgiveness.

Unforgiveness is a chronic anxiety…According to Dr. Steven Standiford, chief of surgery at the Cancer Treatment Centers of America, refusing to forgive makes people sick and keeps them that way.

With that in mind, forgiveness therapy is now being used to help treat diseases, such as cancer.

“It’s important to treat emotional wounds or disorders because they really can hinder someone’s reactions to the treatments, even someone’s willingness to pursue treatment,” Standiford explained. Of all cancer patients, 61 percent have forgiveness issues, and of those, more than half are severe, according to research by Dr. Michael Barry, a pastor and the author of the book, The Forgiveness Project.

“Harboring these negative emotions, this anger and hatred, creates a state of chronic anxiety,” he said.

“Chronic anxiety very predictably produces excess adrenaline and cortisol, which deplete the production of natural killer cells, which is your body’s foot soldier in the fight against cancer,” he explained.

Is that enough reasons why we need to forgive others?

To forgive, we need to realise how much we have been forgiven – Matt 18:23-35
Jesus told a story to illustrate his answer to Peter’s question – how much should we forgive others. The Rabbis of the time taught three times, Peter thought maybe 7 times was enough. Jesus said 70 times 7 – basically always forgive. He then told a parable to illustrate the point.
The servant owed 10,000 talents – a talent was 20 years wages for a labourer. The average builder earns £23k in the UK – so a talent is just under half a million pounds. 10,000 talents is thus around about £5billion pounds. So the story is about a CEO of a bank! An impossible debt to pay off. So the King lets him off. The point is that God’s grace is infinite – we have been forgiven so much.
The servant then sees someone who owes him 100 denarii – a hundred days wages and starts to choke him for the debt, throwing him in prison.
Of course he gets found out and the wicked servant himself gets thrown into jail – literally to the tormentors. Unforgiveness is torment.

The grace of God is immense. When Jesus died on the cross for your sin – it was for every thing – every thought, every action, every word that falls short of the glory of God – all paid off in full, forgiven. When we grasp that, forgiving others become a whole lot more easy.
As C.S. Lewis put it To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.

Decide
Forgiving is a choice – you will never do it if you wait until it feels right. We have to choose to obey God and not allow the devil free reign in our thoughts.
Forgiving means
Giving up resentment about the wrong done to you
Giving up resentment towards the wrongdoer
Giving up plans for retaliation.
So many times as I’m with people wrestling with us, I tell them to speak out “Lord I forgive so and so for x.” And then they say “Lord help me to forgive so and so for x”. Those are different things! What it means is that they haven’t chosen to forgive. First comes the choice and then the dependency on the Spirit to keep them forgiven.

Depend
You cannot forgive without the power of the Holy Spirit. It’s too hard to do on your own. If you are truly willing, God will enable you, but you must humble yourself and cry out to Him for help. In John 20:22-23 Jesus breathed on the disciples and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit!” His next instruction was about forgiving people. Ask God to breathe the Holy Spirit on you so you can forgive those who’ve hurt you.

Obey
There are a couple of things the Bible tells us to do in forgivings
1) Pray for them. Pray for your enemies and those who abuse and misuse you. Pray for their happiness and welfare (see Luke 6:27-28)
I was bullied at uni mercilessly, and wanted revenge. But when I forgave him and started praying for God to bless him. My anxiety over it went and he actually stopped because it was no longer affecting me.
2) Bless and do not curse them (Romans 12:14). In the Greek to bless means “to speak well of” and to curse means “to speak evil of.” You can’t walk in forgiveness and be a gossip. You must stop repeating the offense. You can’t get over it if you continue to talk about it. Proverbs 17:9 says that he who covers an offense seeks love.

Who?
Forgive the one who hurt you badly years ago and the guy that stepped on your toe in Tesco yesterday and everyone in between! Forgive quickly – the quicker you forgive the easier it is.

Application
Be forgiven
Four types of people here today
Spectator- watching, keep watching. Sometimes people realise they aren’t just watching they are actively seeking.
Seeker – serious asker of questions. Great keep asking. Sometimes people realise their questions have been answered and they are following Jesus.
Follower – I’m ready to follow Jesus. Sometimes people realise they want to making a difference with Jesus and become a builder
Builders – I want to build the kingdom

Jesus died on the cross for us so that we could be forgiven. Receive that this morning if you never had before.

Choose to forgive – do it now!

If you know that you are holding onto unforgiveness, then choose to forgive today.
If you know that bitterness has taken hold – then we will happily pray for you to be set free, but you need to choose to forgive those who have hurt you for it to go.

Listen…

The Gift of tongues

The gift of tongues - Andy explains all in this family service interactive sermon. This week is audio only because f how many children were in camera shot!
Speaker: Andy Moyle
Series: Non series sermon
Date: 18th Aug, 2026
Download: The Gift of tongues
Plays: 1
Sermon notes: 

PDF

The Gift of tongues

Gift of Tongues

 

Kids I’m going to need your help as we act out the first few chapters of Acts.

Come and join me at the front!

 

Acts 1:4 Jesus told them to wait for the Spirit in Jerusalem.

Who likes waiting?

Lie down and wait – chilling? No!

They prayed while they were waiting v13-14 – take kids to upper level, chant “Come Holy Spirit”

A few days later it was the day of Pentecost and they were praying again “Come Holy Spirit!”

Suddenly there was a sound like a rushing wind – whoosh

What looked like tongues of fire on each of them (tongues of fire lollipop sticks)

Filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke in tongues 2v4

All the people around could hear them declaring the wonders of God in our own tongues.

Who can speak another language? (Mic of people saying Praise God)

In Acts 2 – tongues were earthly languages so people could hear the good news about Jesus in their heart language.

1 Cor 13:1 talks about tongues of men and angels but make sure you have love

1Cor 14:5 says in the church it needs to be interpreted so everyone built up!

Three types of gift of tongues –

  • Evangelistic
  • Personal prayer language for you and God
  • Prophetic – in the church it needs to be interpreted, so everyone can understand and be built up.

1 Cor 14:1-4

  • Speak directly to God – our spirit to God’s Spirit
  • Mysteries by God’s Spirit v2 – praying God’s will even if you don’t know what that is yet.
  • Builds us up – Lego building – not just tall make it wide so it doesn’t fall over

Eph 6:18 – spiritual weapon “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests” (nerf guns – small and large)

Spiritual weapon that only God understands. Speak into our world without the devil or people knowing!

Do you speak in tongues? How do you receive it?

Ask – God loves to give good gifts

Receive – the Spirit and by faith start speaking. Get someone to pray for you

Don’t overthink. Mind bypassed so you will be thinking this is gibberish

Keep going

The Gift of tongues

Andy Moyle
18th Aug, 2026 10:03 am

Spirit Filled

Cameron Mathers
9th Aug, 2026 9:10 am

Sifted to Strengthen Others

Andy Moyle
2nd Aug, 2026 7:57 pm

Forgiveness What?

Tobi Odediran,
19th Jul, 2026 5:36 pm

Mercy in short supply?

David Taylor
12th Jul, 2026 7:19 pm
Next

Decide, depend and obey section based on Joyce Meyer Poison of Unforgiveness article

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR - ANDY MOYLE

Andy planted the Gateway Church in Sept 2007. He and Janet love to gather different nations together to grow in Christ while eating good food! He also helps to shape and serve a couple of Relational Mission's church plants in mainland Europe. Andy and Janet run regularly, largely to offset the hospitality eating! He also runs a popular WordPress plugin Church Admin