Unsanctified Compassion

When our compassion is not shaped by Christ, it will eventually stand in the way of Christ. Love that feels kind can still block the very growth, healing, and obedience God is working toward.

Speaker:	Cameron Mathers,
Series:	Hall of Mirrors
Date:	21st Jun, 2026
Download:	Unsanctified Compassion
Plays:	0
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Sermon notes:	PDF Unsanctified Compassion WHEN LOVE GETS IN THE WAY Ungodly Compassion vs. God-Shaped Compassion Sermon Outline & Discussion Guide  |  Matthew 16:13–23  |  Father's Day Sermon Outline Big idea: When our compassion is not shaped by Christ, it will eventually stand in the way of Christ. Love that feels kind can still block the very growth, healing, and obedience God is working toward. Introduction: The Satnav Illustration Picture a satnav set to an “avoidance” mode — no left, no right, no motorways, no people — until it can no longer find any road at all. Love that avoids every cost, risk, or discomfort can do the same thing to a person’s life: it blocks the very path God is offering. Definition: ungodly compassion — love that protects people from the very thing that would make them stronger. Not because love is bad, but because it can be misdirected. Scripture: Matthew 16:13–23 Jesus asks the disciples, “Who do people say that the Son of Man is?” and then, “But who do you say I am?” Peter answers, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God” — and Jesus blesses him and names him the rock on which the church will be built. Jesus then tells the disciples he must go to Jerusalem, suffer, be killed, and on the third day be raised. Peter rebukes him: “Far be it from you, Lord. This shall never happen to you.” Jesus turns and says, “Get behind me, Satan. You are a hindrance to me. For you are not set on the things of God, but on the things of man.” Lesson 1 — The Question That Reveals the Heart If we don’t see Jesus clearly, we won’t love people wisely. Everything begins with “Who do you say I am?” — a question about identity, not just religion. How we see Jesus shapes how we see and love everyone else: Only a gentle teacher → we avoid hard truths Only a judge → we avoid compassion Only a comforter → we avoid sacrifice Only a rescuer → we avoid responsibility Ungodly compassion hides truth to spare feelings; God-shaped compassion speaks truth to heal futures. Jesus corrects Peter’s vision before he corrects Peter’s behavior — compassion always flows from who we believe Jesus is. Lesson 2 — Revelation Builds True Compassion Emotion may feel like love, but only truth knows how to love. Peter is practical and well-meaning — the same instinct that drew his sword in the garden also made him resist the cross. Peter was looking at the present; Jesus was looking at eternity. Emotion reacts; revelation responds. Emotion protects people from discomfort; revelation prepares people for growth. Illustration: a parent who ties a child’s shoe forever isn’t helping — they’re preventing strength. Ungodly compassion gives comfort; only God-shaped compassion gives healing. Lesson 3 — The Cross Tests Compassion Real compassion must embrace the cross, not avoid it. If compassion avoids the cross, it becomes opposition. Jesus reveals the road: following God involves real cost — loss, sacrifice, obedience that hurts. Peter means well, but “meaning well is not doing well.” “Get behind me, Satan” — Jesus isn’t calling Peter evil; he’s naming the role Peter has stepped into: an accuser pulling Jesus off God’s path. Where Misdirected Love Shows Up Today In personal relationships Protecting people from consequences Avoiding hard conversations Rescuing people God is trying to grow Prioritizing peace over truth In the church Avoiding hard truths and accountability Avoiding calling sin what it actually is Prioritizing attendance over transformation and discipleship Weak compassion produces weak people; God-shaped compassion produces a whole person. The “Get Behind Me” Moment Peter tried to protect Jesus from the cross; Jesus embraced the cross to save Peter. Jesus didn’t just die for us — he died instead of us. Parenting illustration: stopping a toddler from touching an electrical socket, or letting go of the bike seat so a child learns to ride — love sometimes means allowing discomfort, not preventing it. Reflection questions raised in the sermon: Where am I protecting someone from the growth God wants for them? Where am I resisting God’s path because it’s uncomfortable? Where has my compassion become a hindrance? Closing Charge Love people towards the cross, not away from it. Love people into obedience, not out of it. A child needs love and correction; an adult needs courageous truth — God gives both. He loves us too much to protect us from the cross; he sent his Son to carry it and calls us to follow

   

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From Relational Mission a way of life by Mike Betts and a big nod to Ben Parish’s sermon preached at Lowestoft Community Church

What's your ideal family?

Constant togetherness, texting, emotional conversations over breakfast
Others – that would be horrific. hardly ever see them, but they are there if you need them.
Family tricky concept, lots of disappointments.
Can't dodge it.


Becoming a Christian, means becoming a part of God's family. No just a tick box on a response card

• Romans 8:15 For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry “Abba Father!”
• Gal 3:26 For in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith.
• Matt 12:50 For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.
• John 1:12 But to all who receive him, who believed in His name, he gave the right to become children of God.

Reborn

God is now our Father, Jesus our brother
Relationship with Jesus and the Father through the Holy Spirit becomes the dominant relationship that shapes all our other relationships.
Packer – how well someone understand Christianity – how they relate to God as Father

The church a place full of our spiritual brothers and sisters
Serve a father not a chief executive – J.John “I work for the family business, which is a global business. We have outlets in nearly every country of teh world. We have hospitals and hospices and homeless shelters. Orphanages, feeding programmes. We do marriage work, education, justice and reconciliation. Basically we look after people from birth to death and we deal with people in the area of behaviour modification.” Wow, what’s it called? The church.

Not perfect harmony automatically – battle for the mind and actions!

Natural family – see sibling rivalry and kids not getting on – often down to the level of security in the love of the parents. true spiritually too!

Put aside your experience and understanding of family and relate together as God says!

Church is family

Challenge – church is made of people from every tribe, tongue and nation.
World people join clubs with like minded people – e.g. the bowls club.
Church is different – with people you wouldn’t normally hang with from all sorts of ages, class, background, interest and politics – muddy potatoes!
Diverse people coming together because of Jesus.

Because we are so multi-cultural. We often talk of the power of the second family – which is especially powerful for those who are thousands of miles away from physical family.
In the OT Ruth who was from a pagan Moabite background joined herself to the people of God and specifically to Naomi’s family because of God and was loved, cared for as a widow and married Boaz – who is a picture of Jesus redeeming her. She gets to be not just part of God’s family, but part of his plan as she is in Jesus’ genealogy.
Multicultural church is family with brothers from another mother!

We have an enemy – satan who is an accuser and divisive.

Unlike the bowls club, our ultimate goal not to be the best social group – transform the world with the good news about Jesus.
Nothing in common except Jesus
John 13 – By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you love for one another

View of church – a family not an institution.

Not looking at the back of the head in front of you. family!
Fight consumerism. -choping and changing churches on a whim or likes and dislikes. E.g.choosing squash at a supermarket
What did you get out of it this morning? Rate it on the way home like a movie.
Leave and find another one if someone upsets you.

Not for our benefit – family playing a part in God's grand scheme to make disciples from every tribe and tongue!
Get stuck in too family life – because everyone counts.
All equal in Christ – different roles and responsibilities.

Wider Church family – extended family

Love your natural extended family? Don't answer that!
Too small a thing just to be a local family.
Rev 5:9

Vision of a bigger thing.
Gateway for the gospel to go to the nations.

Part of a wider family – relational mission

Came up with the name!
Paul two ingredients
i) deep long term relationships
ii) Shared commitment to mission

Illustrated by the Ephesian elders in Acts 20 travelled over to see Paul for the last time (Paul couldn’t come visit the church personally, but had sent delegates!)
See the closeness of the relationship in v38

Unbalance

Relationship – inward looking, barren and unfruitful
Mission – task oriented and driven
love our wider family that we are part of and I love that we embody relational mission in the local church. Challenge

Small group – new last term. We had longer icebreakers as we were building relationships, sharing deeper. Someone who hasn't stuck blurted “Can we get to the worship already?” – missing the point
Misunderstanding what worship is
Task oriented rather than a relational family.

Want “the smell of the New testament” as Goff Hope calls it
Dear friends on mission together.
Costly, painful. Requires work – resisting gossip, dealing with conflict well, loving Mr & Mrs Sandpaper.

Church as family. Easy? Sorted by Weds?

Try harder? I'll try to be more loving, less gossipy, less moaning.
No missing the point of the gospel!

We can't do it!
but there is one who walked on the earth already who was the perfect son, the perfect brother. Jesus.
Put our faith in Him.